Who am I Really?

If I had to explain to someone who I was or what I was about, how would I define me? What is it that makes me who I am? Is there a single influence? Or am I a collection of all that I have experienced; all the lessons, tears, and laughter that I have had and all of the people that I have known? Would I begin by expounding on my financial quests? Hardly; I am a woman of modest means. I’ve never won a lottery and my career path has been a series of “start over’s.” My education, perhaps? Nothing there to brag about either; one year of college, although I did pull a 4.0 gpa.

If I were to define where I live emotionally and spiritually and what are the influences that guide my life, I would have to refer to my lifetime collection of philosophies, for it is within the parameters of those philosophies, that daily definition of who I am and how I shall conduct myself resides. I dwell in the wisdom of the recollection of those homey little colloquialisms that I have collected and that have guided me for over a half of a century. The words of my mother and those unknowns whom I have admired direct me from the depths of my memories.

“You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar” taught me to be nice, to try to be tactful. Or how about, “A stitch in time saves nine,” words that have instructed me be mindful of what I do. “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” taught me to complain loudly if I ever wanted change. Then of course, “Curiosity killed the cat” which admonished me to proceed with caution was immediately countered with, “A cat has nine lives.” The studied eternal words of Aristotle escape me today, but the “momalies” are coming through loud and strong, although I no longer use potential hospitalization as a reason to change my underwear.

The Golden Rule and Ten Commandments have certainly been influential. Not a bad way to live, actually, but the philosophies learned of raw experience speak in louder volume. I have found that Murphy’s Law has been pretty accurate as well as the fact that “No good deed goes unpunished,” as examples of the cynicism acquired with maturity. To that I would add; “What goes around comes around” never actually happened.

The guiding influences in my life have been a collection of all of the above, chosen carefully to define that person that I wish to be; part Sir Edmund Hillary, part Gandhi, a bit of my mother, some friends along the way; there’s a bit of the animals that I have known that have taught me about unconditional love and forgiveness. To a large degree, I am the conclusions that I have drawn from careful observation of others of my species, adapting those points I have admired and avoiding those behaviors that I have found personally offensive. I am a reflection of the life I have lived and all that I have experienced.

I approve of these collections and reflections and nurture their growth and perpetuity. Life is a process, not an accomplishment and to that end, I shall continue to grow, to learn, to adopt and adapt. Who I am today, no doubt, will not be who I am in another 20 years. But the goal is simple: To be plugged in to life, to be involved with my community, my species, all species; to respect, preserve, honor, and assist; to offer compassion, wisdom, and direction to those in need; and above all, to give my heart and my love, unrestrained and without measure.


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personal identification, self, philosphies, Aristotle, love